Tag Archives: mothers day

Un-jumbling my thoughts

This morning my car and camper trailer are being inspected so that I can transfer their registration to the State we moved to earlier this year. This means I am sitting in a very cold waiting room in a mechanics yard for an hour. After the chaos of getting all three children out the door this morning I am enjoying the peace (although not the cold so much!)

Peace means time to sit and reflect, and organise my thoughts. (If only I had bought a thermos of tea life would be perfect!). My thoughts are a bit jumbled and if course I need to work out why! I rarely air my dirty laundry on this blog, but today those stinky jeans and smelly tops might get a bit of airing as I share some of my thoughts on parenting and divorce.

I have had some challenging interactions with my ex-husband and his current girlfriend over the last couple of days and I think that is the cause of the ‘jumbling’. I have realised that I resent having to form a new relationship with her because he has started a new relationship. I didn’t choose to have her in my life, but because of his choices, I have to start the whole dance of explaining the background of why my children behave the way they do, interact (or don’t) with their father the way they do, are triggered by certain behaviours (no matter how illogical they are), and why even though he may be an awesome father in her eyes, there are aspects of our children’s care where we have very different views. It is one of those side effects of divorce that you don’t factor in (if you factor anything in.)  Whether she is a lovely woman or not, having to tiptoe through the awkwardness of not criticising this man she is ‘very serious about’ and not screaming  ‘open your eyes woman – do you honestly think it was all my fault, and all the fault of his next partner’ down the phone takes it out of you!

And there is the ongoing conversation with him about why I am being so selfish as to not be working full time in a public service job. If only I would do that ‘everyone’s lives would be easier’. The repetition of the same conversation, with no new understanding or recogition on his part about my role in supporting our son, and his bizarre accusations that he would be happy to pay child support to my father, but not to me as he knows that I ‘spend it all on fabric’ (yes – truly – he said that) are exhausting.  While the advice to ‘just not engage with him’ is sage, there are occasions (like last night) where talking to him about what is happening for our kids is in the children’s best interests.  Until he asks when I am returning to work because he is sick of giving me money.  (Of course he isn’t giving me money – he is contributing to the support of our children who live with me the majority of the time.)

This all makes me look back and wonder how I ended up here. How did I fall in love and marry someone who has such different views on life from me?  How did I hide the truth from myself for so long?  Why do my children have to suffer because of decisions that are beyond their control?   And there you have it – a jumbled mind.  Sigh.  Life is complex.  And the grief for the loss of what could have been is deep.

As always I need to balance all of this out with the good things in life. On Mother’s Day my boy, who had a bit of a rough morning before he came home to me, curled up on my knee and fell asleep for over an hour.  Honestly, it was the best gift!  None of my kids have done this for more years than I can remember.  To just sit and hold my usually wriggly, jiggly son, breathe in his soft boy scent, feel his warm skin and his gentle heart beat, was a gift that I cannot measure.  My girls made me cups of tea, gave me big hugs and spent time talking to me. I am truly a lucky parent.  The simple things in life bring so much joy.enjoy the simplethingsinlife|a little bird made me

Now my car and trailer have the all clear, I am heading home for a warm cup of tea and to sit in front of the fire to defrost while I catch up on bookwork, and, although I have no answers to my rhetorical questions, my mind is less jumbled.  Thanks for listening to my brain dump.  I hope that your week is not full of jumbled thoughts, and that you have moments for quiet reflection on the good things in life.

 

Celebrations

I can’t believe that I completely skipped referring to Mother’s Day in my last post – and that it has taken me all week to post again!  My own beautiful mother (you know – the one who flies in to help at a moment’s notice, who was my super-assistant preparing for the Christmas markets last year, who is amazing in all areas) is worthy of a day of her own.  Last year she was with the chicks and I on Mother’s Day and was part of the celebrations.  This year we missed her and had to suffice with a phone call.  That meant that I got all the celebration fuss from the chicks on my own!  First of all they presented me with the most wonderful gifts including a ‘Mummy Survival Kit’ they had made with their step-mother – chocolates, panadol, throat lozenges (for when I have been yelling too much!!), tea bags, a scratch and win lottery card (I didn’t), a needle and thread so I can always sew, a bottle of gin (they know me so well!), and bed socks, all in a beautifully decorated container!

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The middle chick had made me a jar of cleaning slime (!!), the boy bought me a new mug with chocolates inside it, the eldest chick bought me some bath fizz, and they all gave me a mug decorated with little birds.  Now this was all pretty wonderful, but they topped it all off with my breakfast in bed.  First the menu, then the preparation and delivery.

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(For the record I had ‘Perfect Pancakes, Everything tastes better with Bacon, a cup of tea and freshly squeezed orange juice!)  They even stuck the order up on the cupboard above the stove, and presented me with my bill (to be paid in hugs and kisses) when I was finished.  My little people never cease to amaze me at all they can achieve!

I hope that you were able to celebrate Mother’s Day with your mother, or, if you are a mother, with your children.

The week then started off with a new idea I am pursuing.  I invited a small group of craftspeople that I know to participate in a group mentoring session, facilitated by me, to discuss the business side of having a creative business.  Three amazingly talented women were able to attend and we had a really interesting two hours talking, sharing, and exploring ideas.  It is such a privilege to be able to share the knowledge that I have gathered about having a creative business, and we are going to meet again soon to continue our discussion.  I am exploring the concept of being able to offer this as a service for individuals and groups – including by Skype for those who don’t live close by, so as I develop the concept I will keep you informed.  There is something so invigorating about being in a conversation with other people who are developing their craft and are interested in how they can take it to the public – this is going to be fun!  I added a few new links to the Resources page (at the top of the screen) so do pop by and check them out.

A large part of my week has been spent juggling children’s sporting activities and social lives, attempting to get organised at home, and getting involved in some discussions about my future (wooooo…..scary stuff!)  This has meant that not a huge amount of sewing has happened.  Which is a bit slack given that it is three weeks until the Handmade Markets and I have 1000 ideas that I wanted to have completed for the Markets!  Looks like I am going to have to rein in my ideas and streamline the items I am making (which is of course very sensible, but always slightly frustrating to any creative person who loves to follow bright and shiny objects and ideas wherever they may go!)  I have cut out a pile of fabrics ready to create bags, and will be making bibs this weekend too – all those pretty fabrics have been calling my name all week!!!

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However today I spent the day working with a fellow craftsperson, teaching him how to sew a cushion cover.  He normally works with wood (and makes beautiful creations with his wife that you can see at Creations by Holmes) and it was really interesting as we worked together on designing and making the cover how similar the principles of construction using fabric and wood are.  Although it took most of the day we were both pretty happy with the end result and, as usual, identified how to do it much more efficiently on the next occasion.  The exchange of ideas and concepts in sewing and wood-working was a really good intellectual exercise too!

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I wrote last week about the humour that we have been enjoying about the fact that I am officially a ‘human’.  Another factor in being a human is that we ‘mature’ according to my optometrist.  I tried to tell him that it is just getting older but he insists that my eyes aren’t getting older, they are ‘maturing’!  Anyway – whatever the phrase, I have had to accept that my eyes are changing and after wearing glasses since I was 12 I now discover that I need to move to multi-focal lenses!  Eeek.  Forget the ‘maturing’ thing – that just feels old!  A friend and I had vowed not to move to multi- or bi-focal lenses until we were 50.  I had to send her a text of defeat telling her that I couldn’t wait that long after all.  She was in a very high level meeting and tells me that she saw my text and couldn’t help laughing despite her surrounds!  Ah well – at least it brought a smile to someone’s day!

I have many other exciting things bubbling around in my head, but have to wait a while before sharing them.  What I can say is that I have had great joy this week in making decisions that are good for my family, even though they may not be good for my finances.  The future looks different, but it looks happy.

And now I need to leave the vortex of the internet and get to work sewing!!!

 

The busy nest

This feels like ‘the return of the occasional blogger’! The last week and a half have been a blur of juggling children’s sporting fixtures and training, work, and then the first of the cold season bugs.  I have had some great thoughts of things to share on the blog, but as I succumbed to the virus (a head coldy sort of thingy) it had to slip down the list of priorities. I am still in recovery mode, but thought it was worth recording a few of the happenings of the last week or so, not the least of which was Mother’s Day.

My beautiful children never cease to amaze me with their ingenuity, creativity and love. On Saturday afternoon when I was sinking into the haze of illness and had slept for several hours while they had the run of the house I was instructed not to enter the kitchen. They assured me that everything was fine (!!). Then the two girls said that they needed to go to the shop to get some ‘stuff’ for mothers day. Although it was close to dusk they insisted that they could ride their bikes and be back quickly, so I gave them some money and sent them off. They returned much later (after I went out looking for them) with 1 kilo of bacon. They explained that they had some difficulty getting served at the deli counter and that the bacon was on sale and seemed like a good price so they ordered a kilo! I wish I had been a fly on the wall as they worked it out between themselves!

On Sunday morning they were all so excited about giving their gifts (bought on a shopping trip with a beautiful friend, and then topped up at the mother’s day stall at school) and preparing my breakfast, that there was no chance of a sleep in. The effort that they put in was astounding. The menu alone made my day!

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I enquired about the ‘Bacon and egg magic makers’ and was told that they were bacon and egg cupcakes that the middle child had spotted on Pinterest (!!). They threw in a side order of “everything tastes better with bacon”. The food was delicious and they only suffered one bacon fat burn between them!

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I then had a container of chocolate chip cookies presented to me with a card in honour of being “ the first and probably only guest at our cafe”! This was the cause of my banishment from the kitchen.  They then presented me with the bill – and my payment was calculated in hugs and kisses – the best sort of payment!

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Although I kept sleeping on and off throughout the day, and was grumpy and tired, they really went all out to keep making sure that it was a special day. I am so blessed to have such amazing children!

In crafting news I have been busy, although I didn’t photograph all of my efforts! I had a birthday to attend for a friend’s 40th. She loves accessories so the obvious choice of gifts was a bag. I wanted to try a different pattern, and given that this wasn’t being made for sale, thought I would try out an online tutorial, so went for the Tohoku tote. Although my late night sewing meant that I put the bow on upside down, I was still very happy with the result, and decided not to unpick the whole thing on this occasion (mainly because I was out of time!)

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The theme of the party was “Gone before their time. Famous and died before they were 40”. This is a family who really do love a fancy dress party and always go to a lot of effort, so the pressure was on. I initially thought of Patsy Cline and had images of fringing etc, but as always, time was ticking on and I hadn’t made it to the shops. So I went with the slightly obvious (there were 5 of us with the same idea) of Amy Winehouse. I found a wig online for a very reasonable price, and after some funny communication with the security guard at my office, it was finally delivered. A bit of teasing and stuffing with bath scrubs and I had the height of the beehive right. The artist in residence drew the tattoos on for me (after assuring me that she was only using washable markers) and face paint did the eyes. The end result? Voila!  (Very different from my normal look I can assure you!)

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Luckily I didn’t channel too much of her character and was in very good shape, with all make up and tattoos removed, by the time I was picking up the kids from their sleep-overs the next morning! It was a great party – something about fancy dress always makes for a fun night.

Other creative endeavours have included a large pile of pencil rolls, and toothbrush rolls and a superhero cape to fill some orders.

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I have a few other orders ready to start on, as soon as I am up and about a bit more. Plus, all this time in bed has given me lots of time to think and plan and come up with more ideas! Dangerous territory for a woman who is already time poor!

There is a suggestion in my office of having a craft sale in November as a fundraiser for the social committee (which often also gives part of the proceeds to charity) and I have been thinking about the work involved in building up enough stock to set up a stall. As a result there are lots of ideas percolating around in my brain.

In other news the winter sports season has started well. The boy had his first rugby union match last week and scored two tries, so he was thrilled. The girls are both in the under 11 hockey team and won their first game 3:1, with the eldest chick as goalie, and then this week they tied 3 all. They have a lovely team, with very supportive team members and a great coach so I think it will be a good season.

For now, I am back to bed. I hope that this finds you all well and warm, wherever you are!